terça-feira, fevereiro 10, 2004

"As many intelligent people know, aliens are all around us"

Não só estes extra-terrestres, mas também uns quantos lunáticos perigosos e outros perfeitamente inofensivos.

Será este último o caso de Robert A. Patterson, Reverse Engineering Specialist e autor de "Ancient Astronauts - The Six Thousand Year Old Anti-G Schematic"?

À partida até parece que sim, a avaliar por afirmações do tipo "Robert A. Patterson(1) offers documented scientific proof that this planet has been visited by a scientifically advanced civilization capable of interstellar space flight using Electrogravitic technologies within ancient times".

Uns quantos parágrafos abaixo e a coisa começa a parecer mais séria, quando nos dá a saber que "Already with several profound discoveries under my belt, as a result of a UFO encounter at the age of 15. My father subjected us to an abusive childhood and later to a life-style of abuse, which ultimately fueled my desires"(2).

Mas preocupante mesmo é a entrada (auto)biográfica para o ano de 1998, onde se lê "[...] having lived 3-years on the streets of S. Calif. reading and re-reading the bible 10-times and fasting every other month during that 3-year period making frequent trips to the library I wrote the unpublished version of "Antigravity The Ultimate Heist".

Os alegados maus-tratos paternos e três anos de jejuns mês sim, mês não, não lhe afectaram no entanto os bons sentimentos de responsabilidade em relação à família, uma vez que "Mid-98 I made my way to my folks where I have been the primary care giver for my now 97-year old grandmother and 65-year old ill parents".

Confesso que por esta altura a leitura da página de promoção do livro (edição de autor, presumo) do reverse engineering specialist Robert A. Patterson, para além da hilariedade de levar às lágrimas, me estava a deixar intrigado -- tanto patois e nem uma, subliminar que fosse, sugestão de envio de uma pequena contribuição monetária para ajuda do autor naquela sua cruzada por uma verdadeira revolução nos meios de transporte!

Mas eis senão quando, com um click na reprodução da capa do livro, sou transportado para uma página cujo sugestivo título é "How you can help".

E como é que "you the average reader may help"? Será mesmo necessário perguntar? "Investment dollars, donations, or just showing your support, can make a big difference in how quickly we are able to offer this technology to the public".

Pois claro! Mas não nos quedemos por aqui, "Please send whatever you can afford. Don't be shy. This is definitely my twist on the Biblical Prophecies "ask and you shall receive". So send that Dollar...send Five dollars...send Ten Dollars, or Twenty... send a Hundred Dollars. And if you are extremely wealthy, send lots of dollars!"

E já agora, que estamos mesmo à beira do paroxismo, "If you know of someone that is wealthy (i.e. a movie star, a musician, a philanthropist) tell them about Vor-Tec Solutions Inc. and how we are ready to release this fantastic technology to the world. Get them excited about this technology and how it is ready and waiting. Considering the wealth held by musicians, actors and the movie industry, sports and team-member players...if only a small fraction of those people actively contributed monies, we could collectively change our industrial world as we now know it in an extremely short time frame."

E o que recebe o "avarage reader", agora transformado em "contributor", em troca pelo investimento? "My pledge to you is a simple one. Through our partnership with you the contributor, we are offering an exclusive sweetheart deal! By becoming a financial contributor to this technology, Vor-Tec Solutions Inc. and I promise to make these new technologies available to you the contributors at a substantially reduced price."

Está portanto na altura de todos vocês, os crentes em antigos viajantes inter-estelares que nos visitam há séculos graças à tecnologia electrogravítica e quejandos, porem o vosso dinheiro no sítio da vossa boca e "send your money to either a US Mail address, or use 'PayPal' for your online convenience. Every nickel, dime, quarter and dollar helps in funding this continued research".

Don't be shy, guys!

(1) Note-se o encantador pormenor do uso da terceira pessoa...
(2) ... entretanto abandonado a favor de um tom mais pessoal na primeira pessoa.
Nota: os realces nas citações são meus.
"In North America the black bear was seen by [Samuel] Hearne swimming for hours with widely open mouth, thus catching, like a whale, insects in the water. Even in so extreme a case as this, if the supply of insects were constant, and if better adapted competitors did not already exist in the country, I can see no difficulty in a race of bears being rendered, by natural selection, more and more aquatic in their structure and habits, with larger and larger mouths, till a creature was produced as monstrous as a whale."
Darwin, Charles; "The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection" (On the origin and transitions of organic beings with peculiar habits and structure)